Hello world!

Hi guys, I’m messing up social media so I decided to chat here. My vulnerability is getting the best of me. But I’m going to do my best to stay safe and sane and believe God. Most of the time, I’m looking around for people that believe in God. Not just God, but love like I do. Not like I do it. I’ve gone through an experience that has been really profound to me. I’m still figuring out the levels and what it all means to me. So many smart people out there, but? they hate me. I’m making too light of it and I also want to remember that my past does not define me if I let it go. Right now, my mouth is on overload because I am the type of human that needs connection, human interaction, touch embrace, like mouth to mouth, in the good way. I’m pretty sure I try to impress people to much, but there’s only one person I’m wanting to impress my future husband. Yes, I want a husband, with all the options out there.. wives, life partners, robots, blow up dolls. But have a little bit of fear that either the ones I want are already taken.. well just basically that God won’t provide. And I feel kind of selfish because asking God to provide is always like money, or food or items and they show up! And then they aren’t moving. So my goal is to believe that God will provide a help mate for me once I get a plant, an animal and then you know the drill. You see I’ve seen life a certain way for a long time. My heart is broken though, I did apologize and I truly meant it. My job now is to give myself in a strong, bold, beautiful way to someone. I really hope the wrong people don’t read this. I’m not sure what to share, but I know with love I will be on my way. The tough part about all this is adjusting to a new way of living. I’m really hoping that people respect my boundaries and I forgive . Just like I need to be forgiven. Anyways. I give up. I guess I’ll just make myself beautiful and strong and stick to my guns. Everyone’s special there’s someone out there for everyone. I myself fell in love with the wrong thing. Actually my ideals just got out of whack. Well that’s ok, I know God’s on my side.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s